FROM THE SCRAMBLE LIBRARY
POTLUCK POLITICS
When you go to a potluck at somebody’s house, who gets to keep any leftovers of the dish you brought? Should you bring them home because you made the food, or should the host keep leftovers because s/he hosted the party? Many people have strong feelings about this subject!I took an informal poll of friends, relatives and subscribers about potluck etiquette. According to one Scramble subscriber, “It depends on why you've gone. If you seek the favor of your host (i.e., it's your boss or a prospective client) and your cooking seems to have been appreciated by the guests, leave the leftovers. On the other hand, if no one has touched your food, it would probably be most graceful to remove it.” (I know when I’ve made a potluck contribution that flops, like my recent French couscous salad with beets, I’m more than happy to haul it away to spare my hosts that job!)
Most members of my focus group felt that leftovers should at least be offered to the host. However, if the leftovers in question were dessert, both hosts and guests hoped others would whisk them away to spare them the temptation. As subscriber Tammie Kincaid put it, “Please take the food back to your house—it looks much better on your back-side than mine!”
In a recent advice column in our newspaper, a guest at a potluck was incensed when she went into the kitchen to collect her dish, and the host was labeling all the leftovers and putting them in her own refrigerator! I think what really set off this guest is that the host didn’t take the time to perform the “courtesy dance” about the leftovers before deciding to keep them. Many of us, afraid to appear rude or pushy, have trouble saying what we really want, whether it’s about leftovers, carpools, or an assignment at work. So we perform a ritual dance, trying to be polite but also trying to ascertain what the other person really wants—after all, maybe she really didn’t like the dish I brought! (Or, as my mother-in-law, Barbara Goldfarb put it, “If she doesn't ask for the recipe, and ooh and ahh over my dish, it's been a failure--Take it home!”)
When it comes to potlucks, I’m a leftover leaver. My theory is that the host went to the trouble to have the gathering, and I made the food specifically for the event (I might have even left myself a serving at home), so I don’t need to bring extras home (unless it’s not popular, like the pink beet couscous salad). Plus, there’s always another recipe to test the next night at 6:00!